Today is March 8th, 1940. Germany and several other annexed countries are celebrating the sixth annual International Nazi Day. This tradition started in 1934, a year after the Nazi party won the popular vote in Germany. Since then, many nations had been invited to join the great German reich and decided to embrace the positive force for change that is Nazism.
They had found themselves a common enemy. That powerful enemy was the Jewriarchy, a system designed by Jews for Jews to keep the Nazis and their allies under control. For thousands of years, Nazis had been oppressed by the Jewriarchy. Fortunately, things have been changing in the recent years. Prominent Nazi theorists rose up to denounce the Jews and their privilege and, soon enough, they secured important positions in academia and were able to educate students about jewish privilege in classes called Aryan studies. Many people got Aryan studies degrees, amongst them a sizeable minority of Jews, who recognised their own privilege and wanted to use it to help fight the Jewriarchy.
Meanwhile, the majority of Jews did not really care about the rise of Nazism. Most accepted the idea that Nazism was about achieving equality between the Jews and the Nazis. It was common to hear that “nobody is against equality, so why aren’t you a Nazi?” In fact, even the dictionary definition of Nazism said that it was about equality. Dissenting voices were few and far between.
Some did challenge the theories of Nazi academics, claming that the studies they produced weren’t supported by credible evidence and that they were the product of an echo chamber. These people were dismissed without much thought, because they didn’t know what it was like to be oppressed. A few Nazis started to speak up against the academic establishment but soon enough, new studies were produced proving that these people had “internalised naziphobia” and that, while their arguments should be dismissed out of hand, they should be treated with empathy and re-educated on the problems that Nazis face in a jewriarchal society.
International Nazis Day was established to underline the issues faced by Nazis. While it was true that Nazis got the right to vote, the right to work and the right to own property several decades ago, Nazi activists and academics still pushed the idea that there were glaring inequalities that had to be solved. A common complaint was that there was a confidence gap between the Nazis and the Jews. The latter paraded around with the Jewish star sewed on their shirt, as if they felt compelled to prove their jewrinity to the world around them. Most Nazi academics called this behaviour “toxic jewrinity”.
To counter this phenomenon, major German cities had an annual event called the Aryan walk. During this event, Nazis drew Swastikas and wrote “proud Nazi” on their bare chest and walked in the streets shouting empowering slogans. As famous Nazi academic Robina Morganwitz said: “I feel that jew-hating is a honorable and viable political act, that the oppressed have a right to class-hatred against the class that is oppressing them”. This sentiment fuelled their enthusiasm and they strutted foward like peacocks while Jews were looking at them in utter bewilderment.
This was a good start, but most people felt that this was not enough to stop the Jewriarchy’s oppression of the Nazis. How do you undo millennia of ongoing oppression? Academics pondered this question and came up with something perfect. Reducing the Jewish population to a mere 10% of the total population. Surely, such a tiny minority wouldn’t be able to oppress other people! One problem remained: how would the Nazis achieve such a herculean task?
The answer was so evident, it seemed foolish that no one had thought about it before. In 1934, an article was published in the newspaper Der Stürmer. Nazi academic Julia Bindelweiss, when asked if the Jewriarchy would survive Nazis’ liberation, responded: “It won’t, not unless Jews get their act together, have their power taken from them and behave themselves. I would actually put them in some kind of camp”. Later, these camps would be known as concentration camps. Nobody really knew what was going on in these camps but everybody believed that they were helping in achieving equality.
Things went well for a while. Jews were steadily moved to a growing number of camps. Some even went willingly, especially those who had gotten Aryan studies degrees previously. They walked in with a smug demeanour, looking down at the others Jews because they hadn’t given up their privilege willingly, like them. The governement soon requested that studies be produced to check if the concentration camps were still helping the Nazis achieve equality. What academics discovered caused uproar of a magnitude never seen before.
Jewish guests and Nazi hosts were fed daily rations of food. Studies found out that Nazis only recieved 77% of the ration that the Jews recieved. Naturally, there was an outrage in the media and people demanded that the “rations gap” be closed at once. It was decided that Nazi hosts would recieve 23% more food than the Jewish guests. The extra food was to be taken from the Jews’ rations. This idea originated from Der Stürmer’s columnist Jessika Valenten who wrote an article titled “A radical fix to the camps’ rations gap: why not feed Jews less?” She was roundly congratulated for her progressive idea by the Nazi leadership.
Some people were sceptical of the ration gap. Jews who hadn’t yet been moved to a camp were claming that there was a simple explanation for the so-called ration gap and that it wasn’t oppression, like Nazi academics had claimed. They said it was surprising that the gap was only 23% because the Jews vastly outnumbered their Nazis hosts in concentration camps. According to them, Nazis in aggregate ate 77% of the total amount of food while Jews in aggregate ate only at 23% of it. In fact, feeding Jews even less would mean that they would be starving to death. The Nazis didn’t care. After all, what did Jews knew about oppression?
Today is March 8th, 1940. Abraham was busy filling a hole he had dug yesterday. This wasn’t a useless exercise, he was told. It was designed to supress any toxic jewrinity that may remain in him. Abraham was a good-hearted man so he accomplished his task without complaining. He believed in equality and if digging and filling holes helped achieve equality, he was glad to do it. At around 11 am, when the sun was starting to burn his neck, Abraham looked up and saw one of the Nazi host walking towards him. When he got close, he looked down at him with slight disgust, but with the look of entitlement in his eyes.
“Happy Nazis day”, said Abraham.
Without responding, the Nazi walked away with a crooked smile on his face.